Lately life has been forcing me to deal with a number of unforeseen situations and decisions which have caused me to see myself in another light. As some of you lovely people already know, I do suffer from anxiety as well as anxiety attacks and as a result of that there are certain things and situations that I try to avoid, however these days I simply haven’t had the option to. While I believe that I’m generally OK despite my (currently) high anxiety levels, I of course can’t deny that it does affect me and my studying in some ways. However, while feeling a bit discouraged I had a small talk with my sister. My sister is probably the person who knows me the best in this world, and she immediately got my mind back on track. She reminded me of all the chances I have been taking lately (though I didn’t quite have a choice) and I realized that I have handled these situations so much better than I would have in the past, and that made me see how much I have developed during the last year or so.
I then started to think about how I could develop my Korean skills and started thinking about all of those chances that I never took. I don’t like to say something if I’m not sure it’s correct, I need to mentally prepare myself before calling or skyping with a new person and I have had several chances to improve my skills that I didn’t take because it seemed too scary and overwhelming. I’m just that type of person.
While thinking about this I was reminded of a recent experience. Back in September one of my close Korean friends sent me a message and asked me to meet up with his Sister and Dad
They were traveling in Denmark for a few days and traveled through Aarhus, a city relatively close to me.Now the funny thing is, despite having known my friend for 1,5 year now and having sent each others letters and packages several times, I have actually never talked to him in real life. And while I knew that he had a sister, I knew nothing about her whatsoever until the day before they were in town. Not even her name. It could have been a dangerous situation and I definitely had to think carefully about it. It was scary as hell but my friend thought it would be a great chance for me to practice my Korean as well as a chance for his family to get some insider knowledge about Denmark, and he couldn’t have been more right. In the end I agreed and on my 2 hour bus ride(the trains aren’t currently running in my area, so it takes forever to go to even relatively close cities) my anxiety went completely out of control. I constantly thought about getting of the bus but I didn’t. I ended up having a great afternoon, my anxiety vanished as soon as I met them and I got to practice my Korean, face to face with somebody, for the first time. It also made me aware of my flaws and showed me what I need to work harder on. We took a picture together that day, and whenever I look at that picture, I’m filled with excitement and a sense of pride and accomplishments.
I took a crazy and scary chance, and it turned out perfectly. I wanted more of that. Despite my anxiety, I want to take advantage of my personal development and take more of those chances.
So I did!
I ended up accepting a call through HelloTalk from a complete stranger, who was feeling bored and wanted to make friends. I got to practice my Korean with her for 45 minutes while doing the dishes. Pretty great!
I have a new coffee date coming up!
I also ended up filming a video, teaching another friend of mine how to make the classic Christmas stars and hearts that you can see all over Denmark next month. In Korean naturally!
Oh and let’s not forget that I somehow ended up in a promise involving rapping in Korean.. Yeah.. Don’t even ask..
I guess my point is that you truly need to challenge yourself in order to become better at anything. I’ll make sure to work harder on this! 🙂
Well.. I guess I should go and practice my non-existing rapping skills. Yo!